Flood of Grace

Dear God, please cause a flood of grace to revive those men who have given up one way or another on trying to live a life of holiness.


Here's a picture from our visit to Niagara Falls earlier this year. No wonder our boys want to keep traveling (see holyfamilynow.com and the 'Along the Way' blog) We're starting our third year on the road full-time.

Along the way I have handed out hundreds and hundreds of cards inviting men to visit this site and pass along some wisdom. You new-comers, just read the side bar for specifics and feel free to add ANYTHING that comes to mind. If I think it will help stir a conversation - I'll let it post; if not, I won't. Simple.

After the concert tonight a woman shared how her young son had opened a door for a girl and that same young girl gave him trouble for doing so... His response was, 'But that's what my Dad does for my Mom...'

Good for you young man. You keep opening doors for young ladies and endure any rude remarks that may come. It'll make you tougher in a good way. Go ahead; be respectful anyway. You're growing the heart of a man. This world needs more men like the one you are growing to be.

Got to meet with a few friends here in Arizona last Saturday. Good men. Prayerful men. They are simply about the conversion of their hearts. That fills me and challenges me. I am most impressed with those who do not try to impress. Braggers are bores and over-hyper machismo is nothing but a blaring scream for help. Arrogance is evidence of insecurity and genuine humility rocks.

I've got to work on the humility part. Most who know me recall my saying 'God humbles me and I become proud of my humility.'
Well it is a day by day thing. Did I already type the sign on the door of a priest I knew years ago: Humility is not thinking less of yourself; Humility is thinking of yourself... less.

My goal this week is to post more thoughts from the e-mail with advice from 71 year old Dave.
Okay, I'm falling asleep at the computer!
I gotta sign off for now - if anything sounds goofy - blame it on the hour...
I posted some Advent reflections at the Holy Family website.

God bless you and thank you stopping by....
Good night!
MJP

Prayer: Always Good

A few weeks ago I sat outside the RV at night with my oldest son. I asked him to pray a quick Rosary with me. He is still young enough (thank God) where even though I'm sure he wasn't thrilled to do this, he still went along with it!

I did not plan this, but with each mystery I began to speak an intention for God to bless him and assist him as he grows into a man.

What a concept. If we can just slow down long enough I hope to post the prayers for any of you other men who could use another idea of how you might pray with your sons.

I'm convinced that praying with our sons plants something in them that goes deeper than the words we use.
If you haven't done this - at least think about doing it
If you HAVE prayed with your son, tell us about what style of prayer worked.

As usual, I will type more later, when there is time.

Close one Door - open another

Got an e-mail a week or so ago. Just got some time to post part of it. "Timesaver" sent this from a mentor he was given when he signed up at the settingcaptivesfree.com 'Way of Purity' program. There is more but I will post it in small segments. Very thought-provoking... To me the bottom line is those of us who have closed the door on allowing ANY impurity in our minds or marriages automatically open the door to new life, new hope, new freedom, new ways that God can use us to encourage others. MJP

Now here's from 'Timesaver':

"Dave" is 71 years old and lives with his wife in Texas. hope this helps the men on your blog. Change any words you want. 
Timesaver
Please do not use my real email.

Here's some advice from 71 year old "Dave"

I'm going to give you some chips off my block sort of. It's things that I've learned that truly do help. Three things, mainly:
 
First,  I urge you to be heavy into accountability.  That's something we men need for a lifetime.  I have been being accountable to my wife, and that's a good thing.  But having another man to talk to about the serious issues that face us men every day... that's so important.  I still report to several men every week.  It's not the easiest thing to do, because we talk about things that men don't usually say...sometimes we have to say “I fell”, or we have to say “masturbation”.  Not easy words to use...we've been brainwashed into thinking that men don't talk about such things.  Sometimes we just have to humble ourselves and say it.
 
Second, and along similar lines, my wife is interested in my continuing purity, I know.  Sometimes we men do not know how to talk to our wives about what we need.  This issue of sexual intimacy is one where she can help a great deal, if I make sure that the lines of communication are open.  Often, to keep those open, a man has to say things that humble him.  There's that word again...yes, we are a proud bunch, and we just don't like to share anything that we think makes us look weak.  But we do need to talk plainly to our wives about sexual intimacy. 
 
Thirdly, there is just about no way that a man can get through this course without God somehow using him to assist other men who desperately need help with habitual, sexual sin.  Our testimony is one of the most powerful weapons against the enemy.  When I humble myself in front of other men and speak about my history of sexual sin, that is strong!  But the key is to talk from a position of equality, and not from a position of "I'm better than you".  This is one lesson I've learned the hard way.  So I just pass it on. 


Thank you 'Timesaver' and if you feel comfortable, please pass this website along to '71 year old Dave' so he can write advice directly. Great to hear from you - so thanks for the email and please feel free to send more. A friend told me by phone that what we are discussing on this blog "is so very important" I agree.

It would be great to hear how some of you other men have taken steps to 'close the door' on impurity. I plan to list a few ways that have proven to work in my own life. God bless you and strengthen you in the ways of holiness. MJP

Speaking of Porn

My oldest son (almost 13) is extremely naive about the whole porn industry. Last year as we were traveling he blurted out:
"How great is that?"
"What?" I asked.
That sign said "Adult Movies and Magazines" and there are all those trucks parked there. So they let truck drivers stop and watch movies and read magazines. Isn't that great?"
"Yeah." I said.
Later I told Mary what he said and we both cringed.

I heard somewhere that only 3% of the information on the internet is related to porn - but it accounts for 90% of the downloads.
A woman from a Diocese in Pennsylvania asked if I had anything to help their Family Life Office address what seems to be an epidemic of Catholic men addicted to internet porn.
Someone else told me there is another sort of epidemic of the elderly (mostly men) buying computers and turning golden years into lustful years.
Not good dear elders. It makes me think of the olden days where prophets accused Israel of worshipping idols or other gods.

Porn is all about that.

HHMMMmm. I need your help men. To raise the call for sexual purity in marriage, in single life, in the priesthood, in religious life, and to say out loud to any men or boys who happen by: You can and must strive to live a life of authentic sexual integrity and purity. If you think this is impossible, you need to write a comment about why you think so - then listen to my/our response.

Back to BigDaddyAZ... Since my son does not know what the term porn is (he has not even heard the term yet) I am not sure how I would approach it. Maybe I can practice here and let you guys comment on it - good or bad. You know, the whole "Let steel sharpen steel" thing...

I think my biggest flaw might be giving too much information to my son. Then again, from what many men have told me, I would rather mess up by sharing too much than give my sons to the wolves without enough wisdom to keep themselves out of harm's way. Too bad there wasn't a site I could visit that could give me something to measure this idea against. (Sigh) Guess I'll have to start it myself with this site. Okay.

How I might answer if my son asked me what "porn" means.... "Son, there are people out there who do not show respect for the marital embrace. You remember the basic facts I told you - about how a man and woman are united as one body - right? How I told you babies are conceived?
Right.

Okay... Do you remember how I told you this marital union is sacred and holy and very private between a husband and wife? Okay. Good.

Now do you remember when I told you that even though you know how this union happens, you must clothe each marital union in privacy and you are not to focus on or dwell on the act. By doing this you give privacy in your mind to every couple who has ever conceived a child. If you do not train your mind to be respectful, you might foster what is called 'Lust' in your heart. Lust is a twisting of the wonderful and powerful drive in every man and woman to begin a family. Lust will keep you from growing the heart of a man.

I gotta tell you there are people in this world who do not treat the marital embrace with the respect and dignity it deserves. They make and sell something called pornography or porn. Porn is when people film others having sex outside of marriage. The images they create can be so powerful that some men stop acting like men, some stop being husbands and fathers, worse than that, some have hurt or killed others after watching it. There are examples of this in the news but I cannot imagine telling you about them until you're 18. Trust me when I tell you this: "Porn is not good for your soul, your heart, or your spirit - and it is especially not good for your formation as a man."

I have heard story after story about how this sin destroys family life and has been the main reason many husbands and wives have gotten divorced. I have read stories about men who were tempted to kill themselves because of the images they saw and could not get out of their minds. Guard your heart by guarding your eyes and turn away from such images or movies.

'Nuff said. You see how I can ramble. I probably would not say all that but at least it helps to write out a first draft. I am not sure how much to share of my past with him or at what age. The fact that I bought my first playboy at age 11? Not sure if that would help him or tempt him.

Okay I'm sleepy. It is late. Any comments BigDaddyAZ?
P.S. I really DO think you need to report that irresponsible coach to his superiors about making comments like that to such impressionable boys.

Thanks Big Daddy AZ

For the sake of those who still do not know how to find their way around a blog... I'll post yesterday's comment from BigDaddyAZ

Michael,

Last week my 12-year old son came home from football practice and said one of the coaches said something that made him uncomfortable.

Apparently the coach (who I don't really like because all he does is yells at the kids) was telling the players (11 & 12 year-olds) to "rest up on Friday nights, don't stay up late watching television, playing videos games and looking at porn on the Internet...{insert laughter}."

Idiot coach.

Can you believe it?!! He said this to a bunch of kids.

Needless to say, it provided another opportunity for me to talk to my son about "uncomfortable" things. He's such a good kid.

Love the blog. Keep up the good work.

BigDaddyAZ

Man, I cannot believe that guy is permitted to be around children! Was this the first time your son even heard the term 'porn'? What did you say to him, what would you other guys say to your sons? What would you do about such a coach who is around children? Talk about child safety! I'll try to come up with what my response would be - but what about you other men? More later. And, by the way, BigDaddyAZ, THANKS for posting a comment. It helps me know I'm not making this effort alone.

Finding Your Way

Most men I talk with - when they were young guys they were patted on the back and wished 'Good Luck' son - now go be a man. As if part of becoming a man is figuring it out on your own. Problem with that is these days 'sonny' isn't out working in the field with Dad and Grandpa and Uncle Jim. So what does he see? Video games? What does he google? God help us. Any Dad's, Grandpa's, or uncles out there feel free to give advice for the young men-to-be who happen across this page.

Mine for today is this: Finding your own way means watching the examples of the men in your family and seeing what does and doesn't work. Don't waste a single minute punishing those who were not there for you as you might have hoped. Get over it. Become a man by forgiving and by looking for the good in some of the worst situations.

More later. Gotta go.

Hero Dad of 7 sons...

Here's a story for you fathers or fathers-to-be. I was just reading about Thomas Vander Woude in an email five minutes ago... and had to post it while I had the chance. One of the qualities that describe a great dad is selflessness and this quality can only reach maturity in service to others, be they our wives, parishioners, or our children. I'm still working on that quality in myself. I've heard it before and I've said it before: "It's easy to sing and speak or blog about this stuff - but it is another thing altogether to live it out. Thomas Vander Woude probably did not think twice about saving the life of his son. Seems like there was no question but to act. God bless him and God bless his family.

I don't know about you but sometimes I can get so preoccupied about the technical side of life - maybe it's a just a guy thing or maybe just a lack-of-prayer thing. We have so many distractions. Tonight Mr Woude calls me to ponder how I care for my children and how much I am willing to lay down my own life for the sake of theirs.

I hear about some dads who focus on their own hobbies to the detriment of their families - I'd rather be more like Mr Woude.

Old School Ideas

My son Joseph is 12 and wants to know when he can date a girl. The issue came up this week when his friend at the Walworth County Fair here in Wisconsin introduced Joseph to his girlfriend. (!?) Hmmmmm. I said "No." You can ask a girl to go on a ride at the fair but you can't ask her to go on a date.

Dare I ask readers of this blog your thoughts are on this topic?

My view is really old school. My view is SO old school I want to tell Joseph he can court a girl he hopes to marry, but no dating. That ought to get a few comments. I'm up for it. Agree. Disagree. Whatever. But those readers who have not answered the most basic questions that made me start this blog, when are you gonna get typing?

I KNOW there is a need here. The challenge of guiding a son from boyhood to manhood is huge. Meanwhile I will add to this blog as God and time and internet access allow.

One Strong Man

My friend Pat is an inspiration to me. Here he is holding his daughter Blaise. Doctors told Pat and his wife that their little girl would not live long because she was born without a lymphatic system. She is, I think, three years old now.

Pat took his daughter to Stanford, California today for more tests and/or treatment. She has had a tough summer. Click on the photo below and save it to your desk top. Pray for Pat, his wife Lisa, Blaise, and her brothers.

If you are a young boy or a young boy in a man's body - study this photo. Learn from Pat's example something of what it means to be a man.

A man does not run from hardship. A man protects and honors the women in his life. A man does not center his life on pleasures. A man lays down his life for the sake of his family. God bless you Pat, I'm praying for you and so are the men who read this blog.

MJP

Gift from God

She's almost three years old now. Last night at bedtime. My head was on a pillow on the floor beside her port-a-crib. Looking at her face to face through the netting. (Yes, we know she's out growing the port-a-crib but it works great in our RV for now)
I say "You're my daughter."
She answers, "An' yer my fadder."
I say, "I'm so glad you were born."
She says "yeah."
I say "You're a gift from God.
She says, "I can eat ice cubes."

And it goes on like that. She's a fire-wire girl. God help us guide her, and train her so she can keep her inner fire while not setting fire to everything around her. My wife Mary says she was just like that when she was a little girl. I can tell... and I would not have it any other way.

Some parents hold back encouragement or positive words for fear of giving their children a 'big head'. I think our children need to hear they are loved, beautiful, and that we are proud of them.

Last week I had another late night talk with my oldest son. I told him how proud I was of him for how he is fighting to remain pure of heart and mind and body. You should have seen him drink in that affirmation! I saw a load of concern fall off his shoulders as he smiled and thanked me. Sure, I still yelled at him the next day because he did something that bugged me. I'd rather not lose my patience but even when I do, I'm glad to have this system set in place where I can still say the words that matter most. Saying "I love you" does not mean they do not have to obey an instruction, it may even inspire them to want to obey.

A couple of years ago I noticed how every night Mary told the boys she loved them. I got to thinking, 'why don't I say that to them?' It really bugged me because it seemed like I had not said those words to the boys for years. I decided to change my ways. Now for over a year each night I tell each one "I love you." as they go to bed. Each night, especially my oldest one, melts and thanks me, and says it back.

From time to time I say how proud I am that they are growing the hearts of men. I am in awe of what God is doing in each of them. Forming them through my and Mary's words, through our examples, and accelerating that growth through the love we show them.

Don't misunderstand. It is not all sweetness living full-time in this RV! At the same time I am thankful to say that neither is it all bitterness and hardship. You may not be involved in a full time ministry traveling in an RV but God knows you have your own difficulties to face.

So... face them!
Face yourself.
See what needs to change in you and do your children a favor.
Change. Be a man after God's own heart.
Ask the manufacturer his opinion and be ready to blast your own opinion to kingdom come.
Now there's a play on words for you!

Pray for me to find a way to make more time to post here.
The more I travel, the more I see there is a need for men to encourage and challenge one another.
Please.. be encouraged! Remember we already know that in the end, God WINS!

From "Timesaver"

The following email came in a few days ago. I have to admit I hardly have time to sign up and post to THIS blog - much less sign up for a course to check this site out. I DID stop by and I agree that the testimonies are impressive. Anyone else who has signed up please feel free to pass along any info you have on this topic. What I am hoping to find out is if the Setting Captive Free program is overall Catholic -friendly. If the priest who took it could share a word that would be great. Thanks! Now, here's the email:

I can give my feedback about the setting captives free Purity Program so long as you please do not share my emaill address on your blog. Call me "timesaver". The course is time consuming - something good for someone like me who wasted SO MUCH TIME in looking at impure material and self-gratifying. This could easily have cost my marriage. One thing I can say is you or anyone can read testimonies always being posted. nobody has to sign up to read these. They are one of my favorite parts to this website. The first couple days are about seeing the impuirty we waste time on as sewer water and how we will always be sick drinking from that well. We make a choice to drink pure living water or drinking sewer water. timesaver. Here is a testimony off the site
David's Testimony
"My mentor was Richard Lee. My life was very sad and I lived in constant fear. I was afraid of being found out, afraid of falling too low, and afraid of missing God's best for me. I was introduced to pornography during my middle school years and, even though I never owned any of those magazines, the images became ingrained in my brain for many years to come. I begun looking at women as objects for my delight and the gratification of my flesh. Having been raised in church, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I could not help it. Instead, I kept falling deeper and deeper into the trap. I found myself rationalizing it all the time. Finally, I found the perfect excuse: 'This is just a natural result of the sexual abuse I was a victim of when I was a child.' I thought that if I dealt with the trauma of the abuse, the acting out would go away. I sought counselors, books, 12-step programs, prayer, fasting, and even people to "cast out" impurity from my life, but nothing gave me lasting victory. I was desperate and lonely. I felt like I had to show everyone one face, the face of one who has it all together, while I was dying on the inside. I hated myself for what I was doing, and I was beginning to despise God for not helping me. I remember I would just cry and cry, hoping God would finally take my life away. Every day, I would wake up knowing that I would inevitably fall again. Those were very dark years. My soul craved for something or someone, but nothing filled me. Pornography and self-gratification left me wounded and bleeding, but I "had" to revert back to it. Finally, one day I heard my friend talk about the Setting Captives Free course and how great it was. He did not know I was hooked, and he never imagined he was about to save my life. I memorized the name of the website and the next day I went to my office, checked it out, and enrolled in The Way of Purity course. The first two days of the course were dramatic to me. The Lord opened my eyes to the reality of my sin and the reasons why I was still in bondage! From that point on, my life had a drastic change. I was very skeptical at the beginning and, when I read the testimonies, I found it hard to understand how an online course could do so much. I came to know that it was more than a daily devotional, it was the Lord Jesus working through the lessons to bring me back to Him. He broke the yoke of pornography off my shoulders and I have been free from it for seven months now. I never thought I could get rid of those images, but the Lord has slowly been cleansing my mind from them. At times, I have felt overwhelmed by temptation, especially when the old thinking patterns sink in. However, the support and grace that my mentor always gives me has helped me see God in a new light - not as someone distant and uninterested, but as a loving Father who is with me and who wants to help me. My life now is awesome. I had lost all hope of ever being happy, but the Lord has given me hope again. I'm closer to Him than I ever was and, above all, I enjoy the peace of mind that comes from knowing I do not have any dirty secrets to hide. I have found true intimacy in Him and I want to know Him more and more each day. I am thirty years old, and I feel like my life has just started. God continues to heal me from my painful past, and now He has even opened the door for me to marry a wonderful Christian girl. He is restoring my life and giving me back even the dreams I thought I had lost. Thank You, Jesus!"


Thank you for the email and info "Timesaver" I look forward to hearing more. - MJP

Heart of a Boy, a Man, or a Beast?

I'm up late. Tired. So I sign on to try and get some blog-posting done. Kids are out like a light. Had a TON of family time today. Thank you Lord! I have my browser set to online news. And the top story 30 minutes ago was about how

Vermont State Police just found a body believed to be a missing 12-year-old girl. It seems her UNCLE allegedly planned to force her into a sex ring the day she disappeared.


Y'know sometimes I know I can be overly optimistic. It helps to think the big thing is if a man still has the heart of a boy - all he has to do is grow up and become a true man. But what about stuff like this when the heart of a boy turns into the heart of a beast instead? This is plain evil. I know it happens. We hear stories all the time - don't we?

I told my son Joseph that the drive to reproduce is so powerful in us men that it can help form a family if you're a husband, it can form a whole community if you're a priest, or it can form a monster if you hide a tiny little secret sin long enough. Okay I actually did not tell him ALL that - but that story in the news really makes me sick. Here we have exhibit 'A' in Vermont. God have mercy on us. I will bet anyone out there a hundred bucks if this guy had been mentored by his father or SOMEONE about the requirement for a man to be a man he must be pure - this little girl would be alive today.

Just got an email from a man struggling with purity and I want to do everything I can to guide him to an online solidly Roman Catholic program to help. Anyone know of any Catholic sites? Still have not heard back from the only guy I have met who was building such a program. Hopefully he is so swamped with men asking for help he does not have time to answer my e-mail. That would be good, wouldn't it? There I go being overly optimistic again!

Another scenario is that the Devil hates this guy so much he is doing everything he can to stop him from succeeding in this effort. In case that is the story - please pray for a warrior named Kenneth right now.

Okay. So far the only program brought up is Setting Captives Free - a non-denominational, scripture-based effort that we've been told is bearing great fruit. I still have not heard back from anyone who has taken the course to let me know if it is kind to Catholics. Are any of you readers willing to sign up for this course and work with me on creating such a program? I'm signing up this week and will tell you if I find it Catholic-friendly. If it is I will advise anyone from here on to take the program. Otherwise I hope it is okay to learn from them and bring in all the saints and sacraments that have been so helpful to me in my conversion. God's grace in my ongoing conversion is the only way I hope to continue succeeding in what I expect to be a lifelong battle for the sake of purity.
So far so good - and now that I've said that I brace for an attack! God's grace cover me, please!

Men! Start the process of instructing your sons! This can be done - but we cannot fight the battle not alone. Be a fellow soldier for your sons. I'm not going to tell Joseph about this Vermont story - at least not when he is this age. But during one conversation he asked me for an example of how the reproductive drive can go bad and it happens that a bizarre story had just been in the paper so I told him: "Alright... this guy somewhere in America was just arrested for having 1500 pairs of used girls gym shoes in his home. He worked at a local school and he had stolen each pair from the girl's lockers." Joseph looked at me sideways and asked "Gym shoes?!" I said, "Yes - it had something to do with a malformed reproductive drive! And I don't even want to know HOW so let's not think about it - just remember to walk in the direction of purity and I promise to be here to help you any way I can."

Did I mention how someone from the office of family life out here in a Diocese on the East Coast asked if I knew of anything to help them with what seems like an epidemic of men addicted to internet porn? Readers, why don't we ALL sign up this week? We can discuss how it might help or not help Catholic men and how we might be able to improve on the concept. What we learn can help us form the tools we need to guide our sons - not only away from this insanity of porn - but TO a place of authentic manhood where sexual purity is expected and lived out. Do I hear an AMEN?

See how late it is? See how I ramble when I falling asleep? I'm signing off!

Temptation or Sin?

Here is a comment that was added to the last posting:

Purity is impossible to me. What am I supposed to do when I see the covers of magazines right in my face at the store? what about TV? movies? internet? its everywhere. And you're PURE? I wonder what drug you are taking to make you that way. I think lust is built into us men
call me an unbeliever

I used to be an unbeliever, too. So what I'm about to say comes from experience. Listen. Purity IS possible. Lust is NOT 'built into' men. Yes, the reproductive drive IS built in - and yes it can be hijacked by lust - but we men are called to purity. Am I pure in the area of lust or sexual sin? Yes. (And I'm not taking a drug that makes me this way; I owe it to God's grace!) Have I always been sexually pure? No. Temptation does seem to be everywhere, as you say, but each of us is responsible for what we DO to firstly to avoid (flee) temptation and secondly to refuse it a place to grow. Reject it. Stomp on it.

There is a world of difference between struggling with sexual temptation or struggling with sexual sin. We men will have to fight temptation until we die. So pace yourself. Prepare yourself. Don't lie to yourself. Be honest when you are allowing temptation to bear the fruit of sin. You can be tempted and remain pure. Jesus did it... I am doing it... and so can you.

I am willing to share ideas on how you can avoid or destroy lustful temptations. I hope you are willing to listen. Any of you other men out there who want to chime in - feel free! I have never claimed to be the wisest man on the internet.

Regarding what to do when you see magazines at the store? Look away.
T.V.? Kill your T.V., cancel your cable, read more.
Movie? Do not attend or rent 'R Rated' movies.
Online? Kill your computer or install filters.

I know these will sound simplistic - but if you are serious about wanting to be pure you will take serious steps in that direction. I hope you begin soon. C'mon guys - help me out here.

How do you fight impurity in YOUR lives? Every bit helps. Just keep the language simple so our solutions do not wind up causing more temptations for someone out there. Family duties are calling right now - gotta go...

Innocence in Times Square

We drove through downtown New York last Thursday evening and I completely forgot about the potential for seeing inappropriate ads and stores. I was proud of my sons who turned their eyes away from images they thought might be impure. I want them to know the body is beautiful and that it was designed and created by the God of all holiness. What is not good is the way money-hungry or lust-addicted people misuse the body for financial gain or to feed disordered cravings. Of course I can't explain it that way to my 8 year old - but I HAVE begun to discuss this with my 12 year old. Here's to the innocence that passed through Times Square last week.

Father's Day

Sometimes I take the kids to the store or park when my wife Mary is running errands. More than once people have asked me if I'm babysitting - right away I say: "How can I babysit my own children? I'm not babysitting - I'm FATHERING."
Happy Father's Day to all you dedicated dad's. And to all you disconnected boys in men's bodies who reproduce and ignore your offspring - I hope the day disturbed you into conversion. You can do it! Think of your children. Think of ways you can be there for them. Don't babysit your own children ever again - FATHER them. One day they will thank you - one day the world will thank you.

Purity and Setting Captives Free

The following comment was posted on May 26

I want to thank the priest who wrote about the setting captives free site and also shared that he too has struggled with sexual sin. It is a shame based sin which one often has difficulty discussing and also often rationalize this sin because of years of habit or because solitary sin is many times interpreted as having lesser importance in seeking to lead a life of purity. Also our society minimizes these actions as being normal and expected in the life of a man. I remember once when I went to the sacrament of reconciliation and the priest shared that men in the cloister also struggle with sexual issues. This took me by surprise but also gave me courage to continue on my own struggles. Thank you for creating this site.

You're welcome! Glad you like it. I said I would stop by the 'settingcaptivesfree.com' website - and so I did. It looks like a great effort. It is not just for sexual purity, but varous kinds of sins of excess. Does anyone know of a Roman Catholic equivalent to this site that we can recommend as well? I still have not heard back from my friend in Tulsa about his efforts in this ministry.
It obviously helped the priest who sent his comment - so it must be a good effort as it produced good fruit for him. I just want to alert any readers who choose to make use of this site that it looks to me like a non-denominational effort. Hopefully this group is a true friend of Roman Catholics and does not taint the basic Gospel message with the 'Whore of Babylon' insanity. Perhaps the priest who posted about will have some thoughts... All for now - as usual I will post as time allows. MJP

Purity Ball

Another comment was posted regarding purity. How did I know this would get you men typing? Remember, keep it anonymous! On the last comment to be posted, BigDaddyAZ signed his name - so, though I did not allow his comment to post, BigDaddyAZ had a very great story to share about a group in Colorado who has begun what is called a Father-Daughter Ball - where the MAN promises to live a life of purity and integrity in order to "war for" the heart of his daughter. I might be messing up the wording - so go read it for yourself by clicking below:
Father-Daughter Purity Ball

Here is their opening text - written by a daughter who attended a Father-Daughter Ball:


"As all the dads stood to read the covenent over their daughters, I felt the power of those words sink right into my heart. My father promised to lead a life of integrety and purity for me. He signed his name and I signed as a witness to his words. And as he escorted me to the dance floor I felt empowered by his promise to war for my heart through his life of purity, and I knew my life would never be the same again..."

Okay men if that doesn't challenge you to live what you believe, God help you.

If there is not a similar Father-Son Campfire Event - I hope one of you men will start one. Our sons need to know we stand behind them as fathers who lay down their lives for the sake of their sons as well. How can we NOT cover our sons with this same protection? For the sake of those who do not know how to read comments posted, here is one I did not want you to miss! This comment was also posted last week.

I am a Roman Catholic priest and to the men who confess to sexual sin of any kind - addictive or not I give the following penance: Go to "settingcaptivesfree.com" and work the sexual purity program. This program is anonymous and gives new meaning to the word 'repentance' for those who sign up. The approach rescues those men who feel resigned to sexual sin because their habits span many many years. There IS hope! I share this with the readers of this blog in hopes of helping. It not only helped me; it saved my vocation the priesthood.

God bless you Padre - THANK YOU for a comment that will undoubtedly help many men - husbands, fathers, priests, and some bishops. We have learned that EVERY man deals with sexual temptation at some season in his life. Isn't there a book called "Every Man's Battle"? If anyone has checked into this program - feel free to share your story. I will visit the website, too.

Sexual Purity

Here is a comment to an earlier posting called Sexual Integrity. Here is what someone from Colorado wrote:

I was 13 when I found my dads magazines. It began my 'lust' addiction. Addiction to porn and acting out so far has cost me my job and family. I still crave it and hate it. Wish I could have talked to my dad about it but it was too much for me at that age and thought I'd get in big trouble for snooping. Over 50 from Colorado

I cannot imagine what it did to your understanding of manhood to think that these magazines belonged to your father! God bless you and help you recover. I sent an email to a friend in Tulsa who has a ministry toward those who suffer addiction to pornography. I will post when I hear back from him. Meanwhile, anyone out there who comes across websites that help men in this area - post it in a comment. And not just websites! Give your advice! Stay tuned men, and all you online TEENS - YOU stay tuned, too!

What would they write?

After you are laid to rest, what would your family members write about the kind of man you were? What are you living for? Life is really worth living only if you believe in a truth enough to die for it.

What is your 'message'? The Gospel of Jesus or your very strong opinion? I snapped this photo yesterday and wondered what kind of life these men lead. Good to ponder once in a while...

Sexual Integrity

Sexual integrity is a 'must' in order to be growing into or living out our authentic manhood.

Purity. Not pretending. Real. Intentional.

When a guy makes the decision to rid his life of every external opportunity to incite or feed lust and the sinful behaviors that follow it - he is beginning to take some of the most important strides toward becoming a real man. Teens! You listening here? I KNOW it is amazing to learn about how your bodies work at your age - I remember. But do not allow self-understanding to become a habit of self-gratification. Yes, I know how at your school they may be encouraging such behavior but those who teach such things are 99.9% of the time trying real heard to justify their own habitual sexual sin. Don't buy the lie!

Be pure. Become the men God created you to be. Your future wives will thank those of you called to HOLY MATRIMONY. (Now THERE"S a semester course!) Your future parishioners will thank those of you called to be HOLY Priests. Be pure. It is possible. It is. Do not drink the sweet poison of what the world falsely refers to as 'soft porn'. Yeah, sure, I guess one side of the knife is soft and smooth - like polished steel - but what kills is what is hidden below.

I would be pleasantly surprised to have an actual anonymous conversation with a few hundred of you out there on this subject.
As always - do so without giving your name. If you cannot seem to figure out how to post an anonymous comment - then send an actual letter - you KNOW that would be annonymous! Care of Holy Family P.O. BOX 30414 Edmond, OK 73003