The Hair Fight

Okay - even though I'm bald now - I DID have a full head of hair a hundred years ago. My 13 year old was allowed to grow his usually very short hair longer - until today. Poor guy. He was really getting into the whole brushing it and flipping it and looking at it in the mirror. My hair was long like that at his age - maybe longer. But we decided to have it cut today.

He put up a valiant effort - but afterwards said he felt 'lighter'. I told him it was beginning to look like he was starting to be guilty of 'hair-worship'. I guess to some that makes me a 'mean dad'. Isn't that the challenge? You know your child and you do what feel is best for him (or her).

We told him when he's 18 he can grow it down to his ankles if he wants. It is amazing to see the difference in his attitude. With the long hair it was sullen, joyless, ...cool. Now with the short hair he is smiling more already. Glad he got to try it. More glad it is cut.

I'm sure some of you are rolling your eyes, saying something like, "Lighten UP man!" If so, by all means, type away...

An interesting article was forwarded to me today; to read it, click here

Thought provoking.

I love the time I am having with my sons these days. They are wonderful. Tonight, for example, after reading a few chapters of "The Hardy Boys" we got to laughing as they were fighting over how many good-nite hugs they could get from me.
Obviously the "hair fight" wasn't much of an ordeal with them. Thanks be to God.

P.S. The Old Ship in the photo was taken last week as my sons and I were roller blading (!) along the pier in Long Beach, CA
Yes, I got some roller blades to try to get some exercise. My boys are far better than me as they spin and skate backwards and do other fancy moves. Me - at almost 49 years of age I am thankful I have not crashed yet.

They enjoy feeling like they are better than Papa at something and they are quick to give me advice with a smile.
Funny how they are trying to be protective of me - they really don't want me to fall.
Great kids!

71-year-old 'Dave' (Part 2)

Okay men, I know it has been over a MONTH since I've last posted. But it has also been that long since any of YOU posted a comment. Must be the season of having little or no time. Well, I'm back with another installment of advice from 71-year-old 'Dave' (by way of 'timesaver'). This is a LOT of advice so give yourself some time to let it sink in... MJP

'Dave' writes:

“...you might be asking something like this:
I want to be completely free, forever.  Is that possible? 

Yes! YES!  Here's the challenge:  We men are faced with sexual temptations every day...things of that nature are thrust in our faces, through what we see:   walking down the street, on TV, magazines, movies, almost anywhere.  Our culture thinks that they are o.k.  Jesus called our culture, the world.  The world is evil.  Christian men cannot take in all of that stuff without being damaged.  So, in here, we learned how to avoid it.  If we don't continue to do that, then it's so easy to fall right back into Satan's camp.
 
Through this course, there were some very practical truths as well as spiritual ones.  Several huge defenses quickly come to mind:
1.  Radical Amputation
2.  Don't even look
3.  Never go near
4.  FLEE
5.  Radical Accountability
6.  Radical appropriation of God's grace and God's word.
7.  Always live in a glass house with all the doors and windows open!
 
All Christian men need those...not just the ones who come to The Way of Purity.  Those are things we must use for a lifetime.  Be sure to continue in that mode. 
 
Here is a scripture that shares the emphasis of those three things above:
 
2Ti 2:24-26  As the Lord's servant, you must not quarrel. You must be kind toward all, a good and patient teacher,  who is gentle as you correct your opponents, for it may be that God will give them the opportunity to repent and come to know the truth. And then they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the Devil, who had caught them and made them obey his will.
How we look at women or think about them can be immoral.
Maybe the following will help in that area:
 
Best thing to do when a inappropriately-dressed-girl or whatever it is that triggers lust hits you in the eyes -  look somewhere else QUICKLY!  If you have to stay in the vicinity, look her in the eyes.  If you don't really have to be there, and it's too tempting, then get out of there!  FLEE!

In church, I have had to move to another seat, more than once, since I've been conscious of this kind of problem.  (Sadly, before that, I wanted to stay and look)
Our Lord is wants to do a work in the heart of every man and in his eyes.  The following could give a good boost in that direction.  It's going to sound, at first, like it's about masturbation, but keep on reading....
Self-gratification...Some of us, like me, never did know this while we were "doing it".  But it's this fact that we train our bodies to demand the release and the temporary high that masturbation gives.  It's a habit.  Our flesh wants it because it "got it" before, and our flesh demands it again.  Conversely, if we starve our flesh for a long enough time, it doesn't "demand" that action.  It does get easier!  I promise!  But it probably takes about 4 weeks of "no-gratification" to get over that hump. 
 
That's the physical side of it.  Now let's look at something else....the mental and spiritual parts.  What was going on in our mind for minutes, hours or maybe even days before the act?  You see, our bodies do not just jump up and demand that we ejaculate.  First something else is going on - our mind is caressing something in a sexual way.  We're thinking impure thoughts about a woman somewhere in there.  It's true!  And while we're in that mind-set, fantacizing, those little hormones or endorphins are running around in our bloodstream, tantalizing our brain and making little chills run all over us.  Right?
 
In a fall - The very end of the chain-of-events is porn &/or masturbation. We don't get to either of those last two links in the chain without going through some other things.  First we get an idea or we see something.  And then we begin to dwell on it...becoming pre-occupied with sexual thoughts, as I mentioned above.  If we can break that chain early on, then we're not going to get to the last link.

About being hit with images, thoughts etc. - - and if we're not dead or in a coma, we'll surely will be hit by them -
 
Proverbs 22:3,5 "A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it....
 
That scripture says to me that we need to seek safety in God rather than stay and try to struggle with our thoughts. So....Instead of struggling with them or fighting them, let's give them to God! ('Dave')

Thank you 'Dave'. I've never heard things put so bluntly before - and yes, some men need a two-by-four upside the head to snap them out of the lethargic state of lust.

I forget which earlier comment it was, but I feel bad for not giving a better answer to the young man who asked HOW a man can avoid or get away from sexual temptations that are, as 'Dave' puts it, 'thrust in our faces'.

In the checkout line at the store:
If you see a pretty model on the cover of a magazine just offer a prayer up for her soul. Remember that the model has a soul. Remember she is someone's daughter. My friend Chris from California says to say: "Good job, God!" and then just look away.
I say pay attention if you are seeking out tempting images. That is where the winning battle is fought. Be present to your choices and if they are less than pure - confess them. Keep the 'weeds in the garden' from ever getting the chance to set down roots.

In the movies.
Hmmm. My wife Mary knows if there is an impure scene in a movie we're watching I will cover my eyes until it is over. Simple. In my early days I would actually rent a movie hoping it would have an impure scene or two. That really seems like another life I was living. Now there is no question. I do not rent or wish to see movies that may threaten my resolve to live purity.

On the street:
I avert my eyes. I look up to the sky and if I look back down I say 'hello' and, as 'Dave' suggests, I look her in the eyes. There have been times when my eyes rebelled and looked where my brain told them not to look. I always tell my wife Mary about these times and that is another great tool that helps: accountability.

All for now men. The hour is late. Clean up your lives and don't waste another second of the time God is granting you to breathe the air and walk the earth with pure hearts and minds. It is, after all, a matter of life and death. Here's to a great year.
P.S. PLEASE join us in praying that the FOCA 'storm' never gets enough energy to do any harm.