Gift from God

She's almost three years old now. Last night at bedtime. My head was on a pillow on the floor beside her port-a-crib. Looking at her face to face through the netting. (Yes, we know she's out growing the port-a-crib but it works great in our RV for now)
I say "You're my daughter."
She answers, "An' yer my fadder."
I say, "I'm so glad you were born."
She says "yeah."
I say "You're a gift from God.
She says, "I can eat ice cubes."

And it goes on like that. She's a fire-wire girl. God help us guide her, and train her so she can keep her inner fire while not setting fire to everything around her. My wife Mary says she was just like that when she was a little girl. I can tell... and I would not have it any other way.

Some parents hold back encouragement or positive words for fear of giving their children a 'big head'. I think our children need to hear they are loved, beautiful, and that we are proud of them.

Last week I had another late night talk with my oldest son. I told him how proud I was of him for how he is fighting to remain pure of heart and mind and body. You should have seen him drink in that affirmation! I saw a load of concern fall off his shoulders as he smiled and thanked me. Sure, I still yelled at him the next day because he did something that bugged me. I'd rather not lose my patience but even when I do, I'm glad to have this system set in place where I can still say the words that matter most. Saying "I love you" does not mean they do not have to obey an instruction, it may even inspire them to want to obey.

A couple of years ago I noticed how every night Mary told the boys she loved them. I got to thinking, 'why don't I say that to them?' It really bugged me because it seemed like I had not said those words to the boys for years. I decided to change my ways. Now for over a year each night I tell each one "I love you." as they go to bed. Each night, especially my oldest one, melts and thanks me, and says it back.

From time to time I say how proud I am that they are growing the hearts of men. I am in awe of what God is doing in each of them. Forming them through my and Mary's words, through our examples, and accelerating that growth through the love we show them.

Don't misunderstand. It is not all sweetness living full-time in this RV! At the same time I am thankful to say that neither is it all bitterness and hardship. You may not be involved in a full time ministry traveling in an RV but God knows you have your own difficulties to face.

So... face them!
Face yourself.
See what needs to change in you and do your children a favor.
Change. Be a man after God's own heart.
Ask the manufacturer his opinion and be ready to blast your own opinion to kingdom come.
Now there's a play on words for you!

Pray for me to find a way to make more time to post here.
The more I travel, the more I see there is a need for men to encourage and challenge one another.
Please.. be encouraged! Remember we already know that in the end, God WINS!

From "Timesaver"

The following email came in a few days ago. I have to admit I hardly have time to sign up and post to THIS blog - much less sign up for a course to check this site out. I DID stop by and I agree that the testimonies are impressive. Anyone else who has signed up please feel free to pass along any info you have on this topic. What I am hoping to find out is if the Setting Captive Free program is overall Catholic -friendly. If the priest who took it could share a word that would be great. Thanks! Now, here's the email:

I can give my feedback about the setting captives free Purity Program so long as you please do not share my emaill address on your blog. Call me "timesaver". The course is time consuming - something good for someone like me who wasted SO MUCH TIME in looking at impure material and self-gratifying. This could easily have cost my marriage. One thing I can say is you or anyone can read testimonies always being posted. nobody has to sign up to read these. They are one of my favorite parts to this website. The first couple days are about seeing the impuirty we waste time on as sewer water and how we will always be sick drinking from that well. We make a choice to drink pure living water or drinking sewer water. timesaver. Here is a testimony off the site
David's Testimony
"My mentor was Richard Lee. My life was very sad and I lived in constant fear. I was afraid of being found out, afraid of falling too low, and afraid of missing God's best for me. I was introduced to pornography during my middle school years and, even though I never owned any of those magazines, the images became ingrained in my brain for many years to come. I begun looking at women as objects for my delight and the gratification of my flesh. Having been raised in church, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I could not help it. Instead, I kept falling deeper and deeper into the trap. I found myself rationalizing it all the time. Finally, I found the perfect excuse: 'This is just a natural result of the sexual abuse I was a victim of when I was a child.' I thought that if I dealt with the trauma of the abuse, the acting out would go away. I sought counselors, books, 12-step programs, prayer, fasting, and even people to "cast out" impurity from my life, but nothing gave me lasting victory. I was desperate and lonely. I felt like I had to show everyone one face, the face of one who has it all together, while I was dying on the inside. I hated myself for what I was doing, and I was beginning to despise God for not helping me. I remember I would just cry and cry, hoping God would finally take my life away. Every day, I would wake up knowing that I would inevitably fall again. Those were very dark years. My soul craved for something or someone, but nothing filled me. Pornography and self-gratification left me wounded and bleeding, but I "had" to revert back to it. Finally, one day I heard my friend talk about the Setting Captives Free course and how great it was. He did not know I was hooked, and he never imagined he was about to save my life. I memorized the name of the website and the next day I went to my office, checked it out, and enrolled in The Way of Purity course. The first two days of the course were dramatic to me. The Lord opened my eyes to the reality of my sin and the reasons why I was still in bondage! From that point on, my life had a drastic change. I was very skeptical at the beginning and, when I read the testimonies, I found it hard to understand how an online course could do so much. I came to know that it was more than a daily devotional, it was the Lord Jesus working through the lessons to bring me back to Him. He broke the yoke of pornography off my shoulders and I have been free from it for seven months now. I never thought I could get rid of those images, but the Lord has slowly been cleansing my mind from them. At times, I have felt overwhelmed by temptation, especially when the old thinking patterns sink in. However, the support and grace that my mentor always gives me has helped me see God in a new light - not as someone distant and uninterested, but as a loving Father who is with me and who wants to help me. My life now is awesome. I had lost all hope of ever being happy, but the Lord has given me hope again. I'm closer to Him than I ever was and, above all, I enjoy the peace of mind that comes from knowing I do not have any dirty secrets to hide. I have found true intimacy in Him and I want to know Him more and more each day. I am thirty years old, and I feel like my life has just started. God continues to heal me from my painful past, and now He has even opened the door for me to marry a wonderful Christian girl. He is restoring my life and giving me back even the dreams I thought I had lost. Thank You, Jesus!"


Thank you for the email and info "Timesaver" I look forward to hearing more. - MJP

Heart of a Boy, a Man, or a Beast?

I'm up late. Tired. So I sign on to try and get some blog-posting done. Kids are out like a light. Had a TON of family time today. Thank you Lord! I have my browser set to online news. And the top story 30 minutes ago was about how

Vermont State Police just found a body believed to be a missing 12-year-old girl. It seems her UNCLE allegedly planned to force her into a sex ring the day she disappeared.


Y'know sometimes I know I can be overly optimistic. It helps to think the big thing is if a man still has the heart of a boy - all he has to do is grow up and become a true man. But what about stuff like this when the heart of a boy turns into the heart of a beast instead? This is plain evil. I know it happens. We hear stories all the time - don't we?

I told my son Joseph that the drive to reproduce is so powerful in us men that it can help form a family if you're a husband, it can form a whole community if you're a priest, or it can form a monster if you hide a tiny little secret sin long enough. Okay I actually did not tell him ALL that - but that story in the news really makes me sick. Here we have exhibit 'A' in Vermont. God have mercy on us. I will bet anyone out there a hundred bucks if this guy had been mentored by his father or SOMEONE about the requirement for a man to be a man he must be pure - this little girl would be alive today.

Just got an email from a man struggling with purity and I want to do everything I can to guide him to an online solidly Roman Catholic program to help. Anyone know of any Catholic sites? Still have not heard back from the only guy I have met who was building such a program. Hopefully he is so swamped with men asking for help he does not have time to answer my e-mail. That would be good, wouldn't it? There I go being overly optimistic again!

Another scenario is that the Devil hates this guy so much he is doing everything he can to stop him from succeeding in this effort. In case that is the story - please pray for a warrior named Kenneth right now.

Okay. So far the only program brought up is Setting Captives Free - a non-denominational, scripture-based effort that we've been told is bearing great fruit. I still have not heard back from anyone who has taken the course to let me know if it is kind to Catholics. Are any of you readers willing to sign up for this course and work with me on creating such a program? I'm signing up this week and will tell you if I find it Catholic-friendly. If it is I will advise anyone from here on to take the program. Otherwise I hope it is okay to learn from them and bring in all the saints and sacraments that have been so helpful to me in my conversion. God's grace in my ongoing conversion is the only way I hope to continue succeeding in what I expect to be a lifelong battle for the sake of purity.
So far so good - and now that I've said that I brace for an attack! God's grace cover me, please!

Men! Start the process of instructing your sons! This can be done - but we cannot fight the battle not alone. Be a fellow soldier for your sons. I'm not going to tell Joseph about this Vermont story - at least not when he is this age. But during one conversation he asked me for an example of how the reproductive drive can go bad and it happens that a bizarre story had just been in the paper so I told him: "Alright... this guy somewhere in America was just arrested for having 1500 pairs of used girls gym shoes in his home. He worked at a local school and he had stolen each pair from the girl's lockers." Joseph looked at me sideways and asked "Gym shoes?!" I said, "Yes - it had something to do with a malformed reproductive drive! And I don't even want to know HOW so let's not think about it - just remember to walk in the direction of purity and I promise to be here to help you any way I can."

Did I mention how someone from the office of family life out here in a Diocese on the East Coast asked if I knew of anything to help them with what seems like an epidemic of men addicted to internet porn? Readers, why don't we ALL sign up this week? We can discuss how it might help or not help Catholic men and how we might be able to improve on the concept. What we learn can help us form the tools we need to guide our sons - not only away from this insanity of porn - but TO a place of authentic manhood where sexual purity is expected and lived out. Do I hear an AMEN?

See how late it is? See how I ramble when I falling asleep? I'm signing off!

Temptation or Sin?

Here is a comment that was added to the last posting:

Purity is impossible to me. What am I supposed to do when I see the covers of magazines right in my face at the store? what about TV? movies? internet? its everywhere. And you're PURE? I wonder what drug you are taking to make you that way. I think lust is built into us men
call me an unbeliever

I used to be an unbeliever, too. So what I'm about to say comes from experience. Listen. Purity IS possible. Lust is NOT 'built into' men. Yes, the reproductive drive IS built in - and yes it can be hijacked by lust - but we men are called to purity. Am I pure in the area of lust or sexual sin? Yes. (And I'm not taking a drug that makes me this way; I owe it to God's grace!) Have I always been sexually pure? No. Temptation does seem to be everywhere, as you say, but each of us is responsible for what we DO to firstly to avoid (flee) temptation and secondly to refuse it a place to grow. Reject it. Stomp on it.

There is a world of difference between struggling with sexual temptation or struggling with sexual sin. We men will have to fight temptation until we die. So pace yourself. Prepare yourself. Don't lie to yourself. Be honest when you are allowing temptation to bear the fruit of sin. You can be tempted and remain pure. Jesus did it... I am doing it... and so can you.

I am willing to share ideas on how you can avoid or destroy lustful temptations. I hope you are willing to listen. Any of you other men out there who want to chime in - feel free! I have never claimed to be the wisest man on the internet.

Regarding what to do when you see magazines at the store? Look away.
T.V.? Kill your T.V., cancel your cable, read more.
Movie? Do not attend or rent 'R Rated' movies.
Online? Kill your computer or install filters.

I know these will sound simplistic - but if you are serious about wanting to be pure you will take serious steps in that direction. I hope you begin soon. C'mon guys - help me out here.

How do you fight impurity in YOUR lives? Every bit helps. Just keep the language simple so our solutions do not wind up causing more temptations for someone out there. Family duties are calling right now - gotta go...