Ocean Time and Teen Response

Here the guys were running up to the edge of the water and taunting the waves - then rushing back in. No sand. All rocks so the sound was a lot like thunder as the water pulled back. Great time. I wrote more about a prayer experience on our family blog called "Along the Way" found at holyfamilynow.com.

To the teen who posted a comment to the "Men: Don't Be Afraid" post below:

I will post your comment here along with my response throughout. Your misunderstanding of what I said might be very important to clarify for others. You wrote:

I'm not sure that it's fair to say you won't reveal your son's questions because you might betray his confidence, then to ask other people to share their stories when they might have similar confidences.

First of all - I thank you for taking the time to comment. It gives me a chance to clarify this important point. I am NOT asking anyone to do something that I am not willing to do. When I say I do not want to betray my son's confidence, it means I cannot share our discussions until we collect enough comments. Once we have enough questions sent in, I will definitely add the questions my son asks as well. That way no one will know which are his or someone else's. Anyone else posting the questions of their sons (or daughters) betray nothing since no one knows who they are. This blog is close to becoming a website where we can present various discussions in easy-to-find places. Does that help clarify my intent? Hope so.

Either way I am a teen and I find any sort of discussion of sex with my parents to be revolting because I can't help but picture them doing it (which is a disgusting thought).

Revolting? A good first reaction to such a thought. It will help you turn away from such thoughts and preserve the privacy of your parents. Imagine how troubling it might be for parents to imagine their child dwelling on such incredibly personal moments as their marital embrace? Since you describe it as 'revolting' it seems you have 'pictured them doing it' anyway. Here I can share what I told my son after I first spoke with him about the technical side of the marital embrace. "It is very strange for me to speak with you about this. It is so sacred and so private for your mother and for me. But I need to explain this to you before you hear it the wrong way from someone else. Every person in the history of the world was created this way - except for Jesus. " At that point my son said 'Every person?' "Yes. And now that you know the way it happens - your job is to clothe every marital embrace in privacy. It is not right for you to uncover the marital embrace of any married couple in your thoughts."

What about when the thoughts come anyway? Count on it. They will. At one point or another every father and mother has come to the realization that their own parents shared the marital embrace. Many, like you, quickly changed the channel in their minds. This is better than trying not to think of something. Trying not to think of something is a great way to think about the very thing you're trying to avoid. Changing channels means you think of something else. Something better. With practice it can be a simple as that. All this to say fear of having a thought should not keep you from having discussions with your mother or father.

While I am slightly estranged from my father, my mother and I are very close. We discuss nearly everything, but that. I realize that sex is a beautiful thing etc etc, but my mother represents something more to me than that, and I see it as just another perk of becoming joined to another person until death. It is good in and of itself (within a good mariage), but that good is subordinate to (as well as a small part of) the greater good of marital togetherness and unity. I do find it hard to overcome hormones, but Jesus and the saints (particularly Mary) help me. I do not need to bring my mother into it because from my point of view it would damage our relationship.

There is more I could say in response to this last paragraph - but my family is waking up and I need to sign off to be Husband and Dad. Since you are currently not in contact with your father, and you are too uncomfortable to speak with your mother about this - feel free to use this blog to at least have some of your questions answered. The men who read and post here have wisdom to share.

I love your music by the way.

Thank you. Now since I do not know who you are - go ahead and post your questions anonymously - along with what you think the answer might be - and hopefully the men reading this will post the answers they would give their sons. Men, I want you to continue posting anonymously and I will add my own answers anonymously with yours.