Papa x 4

In an e-mail that came today....

From "Papa x 4"
 
"When I was in fifth or sixth grade, my Dad decided to take my brother and I away from my Mom and sisters and into his room for "the talk." Since I was in the grade that saw the "filmstrip," I knew a tiny bit of what was going on, but my brother, a year younger than I, was in the dark about everything. The T.V. was on with the sound very low, and as my Dad started to talk to us, a commercial came on television for "CloseUp" toothpaste. In the commercial, a young model runs her tongue over her newly brushed teeth and said "Mmmmm...it's a great feeling!" At that moment, my Dad said "I think it's about time we had a little talk about sex..." My brother immediately said "Mmmmmm...it's a great feeling," and we collapsed in embarassed hysteria, unable to pull it together and have the talk at all.
 
I recently had the talk with my son, as he stared at me with saucer eyes. I made sure the T.V. was off and my brother wasn't planning to drop by. I opened a text book with some illustrations, and said good-naturedly "Well, you must have talked about some of this with the guys, but I just wanted to make sure you knew the truth about some things..." He stared at me wide eyed and shook his head "no." Nope. He hadn't heard anything from anybody. Alright, Dad. Let's get to work. I showed him the illustrations and taught him the few chapters in the book sent home from school, constantly stopping to ask if he had any questions. Every time, he shook his head "no." Nope, Dad, I definitely don't have any questions. I told him what I thought he should know, told him that a lot of guys will start talking about this stuff and pretending that they know a lot, but they really don't know anything, and told him that I know it's embarrassing, but he could always ask me anything and I'll tell him the truth. That's about as much as I can figure out to do. That, and pray.
 
This paragraph won't be as popular with a lot of people, but I'm in the middle of being honest, so why not be honest with other men? Love in the form of sex between a married couple is such a powerful thing that it's inspired hurt, confusion, and fear, especially within the Church. Virginity is a vital theme, not only with the unassailable nature of our Blessed Mother, but as a thread running through the entire history of the church. This has done many things, some good, and some deeply unhealthy, including marginalizing married men into becoming suppliers of strong bodies when we need to move tables for the Fair, and wallets when we need money to do something that's not entirely the business of the men who made the very money we're asking for. If the Church, still reeling in scandal and cowardice, needs one thing, it's men. Men who work hard, care for their children, and have sex with their wives. Sounds strange, doesn't it, even saying something like that? But it's true. Our sons will look for men to model themselves after, and it's up to us to supply them with MEN to look up to, not emasculated boys. If we don't supply them with men, they'll look to a poisonous culture that's ready to supply them with over-sexualized shallow idiots.
 
Well, that should invite a few comments..."

Great comment, Papa x 4... I can't help but add my opinion. Regarding your line: "If the Church, still reeling in scandal and cowardice, needs one thing, it's men.
I would say it this way: "If the Church, with some members still reeling in scandal and cowardice, needs one thing, it's men."

God please let this be one use for this blog. To awaken the men who have fallen asleep in their vocation as husbands, priests, fathers, deacons, single, religious, Wake them to lead - to speak out - to defend - to protect - to provide - to LIVE what they claim to believe. You can do it God. You can pour out a flood of grace on all the men who have forgotten the qualities you planted like seeds within them when you created them. Let it be done, Lord.

Papa x 4 added the following comment awhile later:
I thought about your suggested correction for a long time, and I'll stick with what I wrote. The Church is reeling in scandal and cowardice. We can push the elephant toward the exit, but he won't fit through the door. Enough said, we're getting off topic. Thanks for your work at creating an arena for caring honesty.

Thank you for pondering my opinion. And I have pondered yours. Maybe your comment isn't so far off topic after all. How many teens or young men dismiss the Church because they do not feel challenged to be the men they are called to be? In our travels around the country, my wife and I hear many varied styles of preaching. Some are powerfully challenging while others are oatmeal.

I recall the actor Jim Caviezel at a gathering of priests, religious, laypeople, and others. I was twenty feet behind him as he shouted (more like screamed) into the podium microphone: "We need our priests to challenge us!" He received a standing ovation. He sounded sick of the anemia that plagues many parishes. We can blame the culture, the parishioners, the pastors, the publishers, - but we must include ourselves in the mix.

At the same time there are many pastors who preach with intense conviction and are anything but cowardly. Some of these priests are close to exhaustion as the 'men' of their parishes abandon them to the nice ladies who bring them jello and cupcakes. We men cannot abandon our priests. This is why I cannot say the whole Church is reeling in "scandal and cowardice". While I can give you names of some who are, I find myself trying to find ways to wake them while trying to keep myself from being lulled to sleep in my vocation.

Finally, I love the image of the elephant - reminds me of the camel and the eye of the needle. Sounds impossible but as Jesus said, with God, "all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26)